It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
