Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
