I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i came on her dog
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
