I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This is classic penis vs brain.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
