the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
