i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
