No awkward lesbian experiences without me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
