thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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