Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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