My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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