im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
