But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
