Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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