i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
