Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize