Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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