the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize