College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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