My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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