Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
