WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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