I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
