you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
