I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
