you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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