dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
