is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
honey bunches of taint.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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