yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
