FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
