Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
