Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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