He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
