I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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