u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
