Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Life is so much better after having sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize