grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
