and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
