If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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