I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
