Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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