so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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