Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
