But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
