Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
