Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
