Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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(678): View more from Georgia

stop calling my apartment porn island.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy

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(904): View more from Florida

Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?

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