Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
