I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
