My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
