There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
