she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize