My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
