I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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