I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
