tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
