i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO