I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book