so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
worst night to have a conscience
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
