Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
