I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
