The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
