Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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